The Side Eye Gazette

It's Not Fair

2009-08-19T23:18:00.000-07:00

Day and night, I find myself
Trying to figure out a way to make this work somehow
But my emotions always get in the way
Of what I really mean to say
And it only makes things worse, somehow

It's not fair (it's not fair)
I wanna be there (wanna be there) where you are
Oh it's, it's not fair (it's not fair)
I wanna be there (wanna be there) where you are

It's like every time I talk to you
Things fall right apart again
'Cause I start feeling that emptiness
That lies deep in my heart
And this telephone
It won't change that im still alone
And I wish that things could go
Back to how they used to be before

It's not fair (it's not fair)
I wanna be there (wanna be there) where you are
Oh it's, it's not fair (it's not fair)
I wanna be there (wanna be there) where you are

Oh even a walk through the park is not the same
When you're not there
Even the picture frame it feels my pain
And who's to blame? All I know,

It's not fair (it's not fair)
I wanna be there (wanna be there) where you are
Oh it's, it's not fair (it's not fair)
Oooh I wanna be there (wanna be there) where you are

Sincerely,
Vick

Side eye: Celebrity Seaborn

2009-08-09T20:21:00.000-07:00

I've come across so many different opinions and views on black women and their hair, particularly when it comes to extension/weaves. While it is an individual choice done for personal reasons regardless if they are positive or negative, it's one that I usually defend.

But this muthafucker right here. Celebrity Seaborn. I imagine that if BET were a town, he would live on the intersection of Coon and Stereotype. And apparently there is an abundance of synthetic hair in this sad little town. I don't know what I hate more, the fact that he thinks these hairstyles are...acceptable or that he has women from various strip clubs thinking that there is something right with them too. I mean, how do I defend this shit?

And to think I used to think the average stripper is smart (perhaps a regional thing...who knows).

Seaborn and all of the $5 Strippers get the SIDE EYE forever and ever and ever.

Black Eyed Peas, Rapheal Saadiq, Janelle Monae, De La Soul

2009-07-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'll be there! Finally Bumbershoot has a decent lineup.

The lineup for Seattle’s Bumbershoot 2009 was just announced recently, and advanced three-day tickets are on sale now for only $80. Based on the lineup that’s been announced already I’d call that a good deal.
Bumbershoot 2009 Lineup

Sheryl Crow
Modest Mouse
Katy Perry
Michael Franti & Spearhead
De La Soul
Raphael Saadiq
Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan
The Long Winters
Sly & Robbie & the Taxi Gang
World Party
MSTRKRFT
Roy Ayers
Common Market
UH HUH HER
Dave Alvin and The Guilty Women
Eric Hutchinson
No Age
Matt & Kim
Dead Confederate
The Cave Singers
Swollen Members
Vieux Farka Touré
Lenka
Gang Gang Dance
Todd Snider
Holy F**k
DJ Spooky
Iglu & Hartly
Low vs Diamond
Sera Cahoone
Eleni Mandell
Carrie Rodriguez
The Honey Brothers
Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head
Extra Golden
Cordero
Forgive Durden
Hey Marseilles
Adrian Xavier

Just added:
The All-American Rejects
The Ting Tings
Brett Dennen
U.S.E.

Children, come get your Parents!

2009-07-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

So, Side Eye Jr. is three and the TV stays tuned to Nick Jr. and Noggin. And it's my parental duty to watch all of these shows with her as most parents do. So yes, I know all the words to the theme songs for Dora the Explorer, Diego, Max & Ruby, Ni Hao Kai Lan, Yo Gabba Gabba and etc. And naturally I actually like some of the programming.

Nick Jr. has been advertising for a new show called 'The Jumparounds' for a while now. Group of some twenty-something adults dancing and singing kids songs. Songs that actually aint half bad in my opinion. All of a sudden they stopped showing the commercials and brought them back as 'The Fresh Beat Band'. For some reason this caught my eye and I started paying attention to their little music videos:

The black guy is always nerdy. The white guy is always...'urban' and rapping or beat boxing or something. And it irritates my soul. I have never been this bothered by a white man rapping...not even as bothersome as this:

So I had to share this with SOMEONE. There is another video with the guy beatboxing and I went on a quest to find it and actually found a very long topic discussion about it on Parent Connect. I naturally assumed it would be parents sharing their appreciation of the show and how their kids are looking forward to it...not so much.

"I have noticed on Noggin they are showing the really horrible 'music videos' by 'The JumpArounds'...what the hell?!?! Those kids are HORRIBLE! They can't sing and they sure as hell can't dance - I was a dancer and to call what they are doing 'dancing' is offensive to all of us who worked at it for years - I guess that's why they're called the jump-arounds cause that's all they do! And why are they showing this on Noggin? This is not music and videos for preschoolers, this is more Nick Jr. or Nick material. If it was me, I wouldn't show it on anything!"

"How did I know I'd find you one here posting a thread about those damn dancers that you hate so much, LOL!!! Of course my girls dance around b/c the tunes are catchy, LOL. For your sake, I hope they snatch them off the air immediately!!! WinkTongue out"

"FireGirl - take a Valium and step away from the TV...please! You are so freakin annoyed with the video it's disturbing. The beauty of owning a television set is that you can make the choice to turn the TV off or change the channel if you don't like something, so just turn it off already! I don't think the television gods at Nick Jr. are programming for you or me. We all think it's corny, because it IS...but to a two year old it's fun and exciting to see these teenagers sing and jump around, no matter how bad the lip syncing or dance routines are. Heck, if I put a bucket on my head and walk around, that's pretty darn corny too, but my kid is two years old she laughs her butt off, thinks I should be doing stand up comedy! Also think again about knocking your kid getting a paying job and doing something you might deem stupid, cause in reality for the demographic they are gearing these videos to, it's not - a spot on TV like that brings in dinero and could help with their education or a number of things...so don't be so quick to knock it!
On to Max and Ruby, I totally agree, where the heck are the parents?? That has ALWAYS bothered me. Perhaps they both died in a horrible mowing accident, but if that's the case the old Grandma that lives down the road should have taken them in...not just let them live alone in the house and just stop by for an occasional visit to watch a show they are putting on or drink some lemonade with lady bug candy in it. Um, I think I am watching WAY to much Noggin : )
Peace out!"

SIDE EYE

It's a show for the kids...not your adult ass. Stop over analyzing every detail of the show...kids, especially toddlers, could care less. Didn't know these actors needed to attend Juliard and have personal sessions with voice coaches to do a show on Nick Jr. for kids ages 6 mos to 4 years old. Silly me.

Yeah i'm going update soon

2009-05-01T09:46:00.000-07:00

Don't know why i've been gone so long. I literally have had tons of time but really not much to say, or it just wouldn't manifest itself into what I wanted it to be. But I need to get back into the groove of blogging. So expect something this weekend. Toodles.

Side Eye: Pediphemales

2009-02-15T22:29:00.000-08:00

I know. Where the hell have I been? I've been around lazy as hell dealing with some crap and working on a side eye to bring you folks then got distracted. But I had to come out of hiding for this one because I'm tired of this double standard even though it a plus for my people.

There is nothing okay with a grown woman fucking a child. Period. I have no idea why these chicks get a slap on the wrist 90% of the time but it is just sickening. I could care less about how crappy you feel about your wrinkles and your tired ass husband doesn't want to screw your baggy ass anymore and little Tommy said you were pretty and you felt compelled to give him a hummer. NOT COOL. People don't think that crap is all high fives and chest bumps when it's a young girl and a middle aged man now do they?

Now I know this chick is technically only two years older than this boy, but look at him. This kid looks no older than 8 years old, shit is creepy. And now they have a baby. Just disturbing on way too many levels...I wonder if this boy is even 13 like they're reporting.

Side Eye: Myspace

2009-01-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

Back when I was 20 or 21 I was in LOVE with myspace. Adorning my profile with videos, all my sexy angle shots with my awesome rockin' tits, the bajillion friends, leaving stupid comments. Yes that was a fun year or whatever. But somewhere along the way I got really tired of the same creepy guys adding me to see my photos and that oh so classic first line "What's good wit you ma?", come to think of it, I am being kind even paraphrasing with correct punctuation. The end all happened when my ex boyfriend started tracking all my activity within myspace and posting stupid bulletins and blogs about me I decided to log off and stay off.

The only reason I even kept my profile is because I like the idea of old friends from school and my family having a way to contact me. I was logging on maybe once every 3 months to check messages and crap. Over the weekend I decided I would start logging on to myspace again since I had my cousins and friends pressuring me to do so. That was friday/saturday-ish.

It is Monday. And I swear it didn't even take me a week to figure out why I had left. Classic bullshit like this:tHatT bUlLsHyt l00Ks fUcKiN dUmB. I don't care what anyone says anyone that takes the time out of their life to purposely type in that fashion should get poked in the eye with a pencil dripping with tabasco. Seriously, it grinds my gears. There is nothing cute about illeteracy.

Now I have about 40 friends on Myspace. And I know almost all of them personally. I try to give people that message me out of nowhere the benefit of the doubt that they aren't creepy panty sniffers but i'm losing hope:

really dude? I ask how you are and you ask me if I am looking to screw you or I assume be in an exclusive fuck buddy relationship with you. Insert Blank Stare Here. Really? Like seriously? Sigh. But it only gets better.

SIDE EYE

I'm so done.

Snow Day

2008-12-18T13:53:00.000-08:00

It's about damn time. We have had snow in the forecast since Saturday and i've been waiting to slide on down the hills with Side Eye Jr. It has been snowing since 1am off and on and I couldn't be happier. I lived in California until I was 13 years old. As I child I always wished for snow. I thought it was the most precious substance that God could provide a bored child. About two months after we moved to Oklahoma I saw snow for the very first time in my life. It was a November morning and I opened up the door to walk to school and saw beautiful white powder everywhere. And I love my ever loving mind. I rolled around, made snow men, threw snow balls, it was fantastic.

Me and the kid had tons of fun. Once our tattered cardboard boxes were ripped to shreds we packed it back to the house. I'm offically snowed in and loving it. Though i'm almost out of eggs, lol.

The Devil's Playground

2008-12-14T11:34:00.001-08:00

So I decided to take Side Eye Jr. to Chuck E. Cheese this saturday so she could play with the mass of children she is used to. Daycare has been closed all week and I can tell she is tired of hanging out with me. That woman in the back was weird. When we were in line waiting to buy our lunch and tokens she kept saying "Why is it this crowded on a Saturday?" and "Why do they only have teenagers working here?" then after we sat down she kept complaining about the number of children that wouldn't calm down. Hence the look on my kid's face.

The one thing that I always notice about Chuck E. Cheese is how often there are women there dressed like they are auditioning to be on some random 'love' VH1 show looking for a man in the only place where a kid can be a kid. I saw more stretch marks, clevage, and c-section scars then I have seen at the bar. Looking for your future baby daddy at your nephews birthday party: Ultimate Fail.

So i'm not the only one....

2008-12-08T19:36:00.000-08:00

Sigh, so earlier this morning Fema told me that Jizz In My Pants has been yanked from youtube. At that moment there was an icebox where my heart used to be. A feeling of numbness settled over my soul knowing that I wouldn't hear the familiar tune and see those funny fuck faces. So I did what usually cheers me up, I watched dope fiends on television!

I can't tell you exactly how long i've been watching Intervention but I can honestly tell you something. My name is Vick and i'm addicted to this show. I've dealt with addiction in my family for many many years so I have never had the desire to do drugs. Sure i've had the occasional blunt and a drink here or there but I have never been interested in anything outside of that. This show along with New Jack City have kept me drug free practically my entire life!

The one thing I really love about the show is how un-edited it is. If you are gonna fight your butt naked sister while she is under the influence of meth then by all means A&E isn't going to edit it out. You get to see how crazy and disgusting addictions can be. Some of the addictions I have seen on the show (self mutilation, OCD, bulimia) really opened my eyes and shattered all the perceptions of what I thought they were. And at the end of the intervention it is never guarunteed that the person is going to get better.

So, if you're never watched, I encourage you to do so. I always feel better and lucky I don't suffer from addiction. For whatever twisted reason it's always an instant pick me up. And to put the cherry on top of all that raw emotion I have found my shower dancing twin:

Now I thought I was the only one that did this! I have the little non-slip things in my bathtub so that I don't hurt myself but this boy has me beat. And be sure to watch to the very end when you see his mother hand him a towel. Why must I cry?

Jizz In My Pants

2008-12-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

I think the funniest thing to me about this video is the fact that this has happened to me before. Not the part about jizzing in my pants but a guy I was with jizzed in his pants. We were kissing and all I did was put my hand on his knee and he JIZZED IN HIS PANTS. The look on his face was priceless and so was my laughter. With all that booty tootin' and dry humping in the clubs this must be a sight to see...

Popping my blogger cherry

2008-12-05T19:17:00.000-08:00

Howdy! So i'm finally getting around to posting on here. I have honestly has plenty of time to post, more than ever, and didn't feel like it. But here I am about to fall asleep dancing and had to post. So some random things about me:

I side eye a lot of things, usually fuckery.
I have an unnatural love for breakfast cereal.
I am a nail polish fiend. I openly stan for China Glaze.
I love hair.
I can't sleep with socks on.
I like buying old items from thrift stores.

So there you have it. If you want to get to know me a little better and you have imeem *wink* then take a listen at my favorites.

http://www.imeem.com/dialogs/standaloneplaylist/?u=Gwm-g4